pizza

I dreamed that I was in this pizza house , where the main ingredient was the customers . Anyway , it was a small town so , before long , everyone had been eaten . And the entire staff became bitter at god for the injustice of it all .

Yea , injustice .

fish walking...

I dreamed there were these fish , walking across the road . I was afraid they may get hit be a car , so I squished them with my feet . As one lay dying , I held him ever so tightly to comfort him ; but all I did was squeeze his guts out all over the place . 

prairie dogs

I dreamed my car blew up , and killed every prairie dog in the world . That is it , nothing else was hurt . But then an alien space ship came down and said that they wanted to see our prairie dogs ; and that if we couldn't produce them , they would kill us all .

Yea , prairie dog . 

stamps...

I dreamed that there was a man who thought it meant you were gay if you collected stamps . So he collected so many rocks that he buried himself alive . Ironically , the stamps on the letters inviting people to his funeral , became very rare and valuable .

the wrestler

I dreamed this wrestler was making his ring entrance .He was "high fiving" everyone...all that shit . Then he came across this 90 year old man . He grabbed him , stuck his tongue down his throat , and rubbed his privates all over the old fuckers pants . Thing is , nobody seemed to notice .

Yea , notice .

trust...

Once I dreamed that this young lady and I were madly in love but did not trust each other . So I hired someone to shoot at her , and timed it perfectly so I could jump in front of her body and be her rescuer  . Thing is , I tripped and the bullet went right through her head . Just then , a flock of seagulls flew by .

Yea , seagulls .

white wine church

I dreamed that I went to a church that would only have white wine with communion . Before every service , the entire congregation would invade a red wine church , and murder everyone there . Then they would throw a monkey threw a door to celebrate .

Yea , monkey .

the bee...

I dreamed that a swarm of bees was about to kill me , so I pretended that I was a bee like them , and flapped my arms and began to fly across the sky . I don't think that I was eating any cornflakes but who the fuck knows . 

I dreamed that someone was invited into my house and found a knife on my dining room table . When they left , they proceeded to tell everyone they could think of that I was a serial murderer . It got me a lot of sex , but besides that it was a horrible thing .

Yea , thing .

the universe...

I dreamed that the universe was out to destroy me . I began to fight back ; but every time I hit it , it grew in strength and I diminished in power . I took a large sip of rum , but it turned into sand .

yea , sand .

man with no feet...

I dreamed there was a man who spent all his free time kicking animals . One morning , however , he woke up and his feet were gone . He screamed at the injustice of it all . Then an angel came down from Heaven and put a cigarette out on the top of his head .

I dreamed there were chickens in my bed , so I plugged it into the wall to fry the fucking things . I thought all was well , until I realized that I was frying with them . I heard rap music in the distance as I began to eat the chickens as they were eating me .


Yea , chickens .

the flower...

I dreamed I saw a flower in a field . I withered and died ; but someone placed a piece of coat hanger behind it so it  so it appeared to be healthy and alive . Then someone sprayed its rotting stem and peddles with paint . Finally all these zombi like  people gathered around the flower and complimented it on its beauty . I think the fumes of the paint intoxicated them . I tried to tell them , but they attacked me .

shoveling the sidewalk...

I dreamed that I was shoveling my sidewalk . But every time I lifted a pile of snow , a piece of clothing came off my body . Eventually I was naked and alone . But it was at that point I realized that I had nothing left to lose . I could put the snow any fucking place that I so desired and there was not a stitch of clothing left to hold me back . I was free .

worst enemy

I dreamed that my worst enemy was dying in a ditch . He had sworn to murder me...yet , at this point...he seemed to have forgotten all of that crap . Out of mercy , I threw him my lucky crab , then proceeded on my way .

Yea , crab .

my aching back...

I dreamed that I pulled my back out . So badly that I could not turn and wipe my ass . Thank God I didn't have to have a crap . In fact , an angel came down and addressed the subject . He said : "you owe God one " . Then he departed .


Yea , angel .

the sidewalk...

I dreamed a man with no arms was shoveling the sidewalk with his teeth . The pope saw his shabby work and crushed his head open with his walking stick . Then bats flew out of the popes hat into the far reaches of the galaxy . I just sat there and played with my leggo . 


yea , leggo

head up ass...

I dreamed that the Devil told me that if I STUCK MY HEAD UP MY ASS , all the secrets of the universe would unfold . I was just about to do it , but then a still small voice said to me : "DID IT WORK LAST TIME ???"  I was saved by the bell .

abandoning...

I had a dream of everyone who abandoned me . They were all acting out the reason why they did what they did , but it was on a times ten scale . That is , they were acting like fucking lunatics . (One guy was lying to me , telling me that he would call me tomorrow . One guy was screaming at me - for no reason that I could perceive at all . The third went insane ; dancing around in his own shit or something like that .)


Yea , shit . 

leaves into bottles

I dreamed there was a man with no arms ,  playing the piano . Then there was a half dead man in the ditch , cursing his rescuer . Then I saw a bird in a tree . He was drinking a bottle of rum , and I could hear him say : " this is really fucked up " . Suddenly the leaves turned into bottles .

the end...

I dreamed that the world was coming to an end . I could see it over the horizon . Yet just beyond it , I could see dinosaurs . I could tell that they were the new beginning .They were all getting along so well . The big ones , making love to the little ones . They smiled at me from a distance .


Yea , dinosaurs .

the monkey

I dreamed there was a man with no arms , playing a piano . Then I saw another man who was half dead , lying in a ditch ; he was cursing his rescuer . There was also a monkey masturbating in a tree ; and he said : "this is really fucked up " .

hemorrhoids

i dreamed this lady had hemorrhoids
she was in great distress
and she ran to the corner store
and bought every fucking thing she could find
everything , that is
but shit to rub on her ass

she said that the chicken wings
healed her

world crashing down

i dreamed that the world came crashing down
and all the little boys and girls
were ushered back to school
but this time the curriculum had changed
you know
instead of history
they had stealing
instead of geography
selling shit on the black market
and instead of math
advanced cannibalism

enrollment actually went up  

bunnies and carrots

I dreamed that all the cabbages in the world waged war on all the carrots in the world . The bunny rabbits took exception to this and joined forces with the carrots . The carrots just assumed that the bunnies were their friends . They were not .


There are many reasons to be nice to another . Because you are nice is just one of them . 

mouth wash...

I dreamed I bought a five ounce bottle of mouth wash...then the sales man gave me a children's plastic swimming pool to drink it in . For some reason , I figured that he wanted me to fill the whole fucking thing with mouth wash...then drink it . So then I left .


Yea , mouth wash .

two naked women...

There they were , two naked women , licking each other from top to bottom . Caressing , holding , sweat saturating their bodied as the sun shined off  their damp , hot skin . Suddenly , the door broke open wide...and there before them was the wolf man !!! He howled violently as he ripped off their heads and bowled them down the main corridor . Then I woke up ; my heart pounding .