shit eating monkeys

I dreamed that I wrote a book that did really well ; but nobody gave a fuck because I didn't make much money . Then Godzilla screwed Mothra right up the ass . I got taken away by the mole people , to the land of shit eating monkeys .

jesus

I dreamed that Jesus came back naked . Over 99 % of His followers buggered off . The rest had a board meeting and voted Him off the island...( they were really stoned ) . 

jelly fish

Last night I dreamed that the jelly fish all disappeared . BUT NOBODY GAVE A FUCK . They were completely unaware that jelly fish were God's favorite creature . And He was very angry !!!

mexico

I dreamed I went over to a friends place , only to find her in tears . Apparently , her husband and her son took off to Mexico for a vacation and forgot to tell her .

donald fagan

I dreamed that I had a shit on a wall as I was walking through the door .Donald Fagan's son took a picture of it . I asked him what Donald Fagan was really like and he told me I was full of shit , and proceeded to walk away . It was then someone handed me my Christmas bonus .

my flowers...

I dreamed that I spent my entire life nurturing my flowers , and they , in turn , ate me .

the token

I dreamed I found a token by the bridge . As it turned out , it was all arranged to see if I would take it . I did , but what they failed to realize was that it was mine to to begin with . I think I tried to explain .

lost souls...

I dreamed that the beach was covered with lost souls . I reached down to pick one up , and a wave washed it out to sea . I could tell there were monsters in the ocean .

cod fish

I dreamed that I was smoking a cod fish  ; and was immediately murdered because everyone around me was smoking trout . But then The Great Ocean Sea Bass , killed every fucker on the beach , and uttered the words : "smoking is bad for your health " .   

girlfriend...

I dreamed that I was about to preach a sermon in a church , when suddenly my girlfriend walked into the room with another man . Then I realized , I was not dreaming .

ocean of tits

I dreamed I was a 13 year old boy , and I was drowning in an ocean of tits . Suddenly appeared Superman to save me ; and I told him to fuck off . I always figured he was gay anyway .

banana girl...

I dreamed that some girl was sucking on a banana . Suddenly , all this white cream came out of the banana , and I began to wish that I was a monkey . Then The Brady Bunch appeared and I began to feel guilty .  

the prettiest flower in the world...

I dreamed that I was a flower in a garden . I decided that I wanted to be the prettiest flower in the world , so I had my peddles trimmed , my stem groomed , and colored with the deepest colors in the world . Then I killed all the other flowers .

i were a rabbit...

I dreamed that I was a rabbit , and I would frolic and play with all the other rabbits . Then one day I lost an ear , defending the tribe against a hungry fox . When they saw I looked different than them , they savagely murdered me and rubbed my testicles all over a pine tree , singing "km-by-ya" .  

no posters , please

I dreamed that I put a poster in my window that read : " no posters , please " . People laughed at me , but i didn't understand why .  

slug with arms...

I dreamed I was a slug , and grew some arms . All the other slugs then got together and invented a religion where slugs with arms had to be put to death .( An abomination , they called me ) . So they nailed me to a sidewalk and praised God as my guts spilled all over the place .

m.m.d.c.

Once again , I dreamed that the Jehovah Slugs appeared at my door . So I hired some Mormon slugs to beat the crap out of them  . Then walked in Vince Mcslug from the W.W. E . , and he gave them all a contract to fight on T.V. I became the manager of the Mighty Mormon Demolition Crew .  

return of the jehoval slugs

I dreamed that the Jehovah Slugs came back to my front door . So I asked them a question : " is your religion a masturbating or non-masturbating religion ??? " .

killing myself

I dreamed I was a slug ; and the Jehovah Slugs came knocking at my door peddling their religion . So I killed myself .

door to door slug

I dreamed I was a slug that sold deodorant door to door . All I remember is that I had a terrible rejection complex . 

meaning of life...

I had a dream that I was walking along the beach , and suddenly I disappeared . Next thing I knew I was  under the sea playing cards with an octopus . I asked  him what the meaning of life was . He replied : "do you have any threes ???"

the sky and the moon

I dreamed the moon was covered by clouds . So , as a sacrifice , the towns people cut off the head of anyone they could find who couldn't keep a steady job . After 254 people , the moon appeared , and how they praised their god . 

sea of nipples

I dreamed that I was completely naked , bouncing on a sea of nipples . I begin to speak dirty , and the nipples got really hard and cut right through my feet . Then a giant finger pointed at me , and I melted into nothing .

the pope and his hash

I dreamed that the pope flew in my window again . This time I asked him for an autograph . When he took out his pen and paper , he turned into Elvis , and began to shake his hips as he danced around the room. . Then he took out a joint and tried to convince me that it was some type of holy candle . So I asked him for a puff of his candle .

Yea , candle .

the pope flew in my window...

I dreamed the pope flew in my window and crapped all over my ledge . I was going to call the baptists for help , but he sprayed some magic guilt juice all over me and I melted into the floorboards .

Yea , Pope

the frogs

I dreamed that frogs became mutations . And all they could do was hop in a circle . Because of this , every day the turtles would gather round to see the frogs be eaten by their predators . Hence , the turtles became very close to each other and would often bet on what frog would be eaten first . (You know , bonding shit like that ). 

Yea , frog

seagull...

I dreamed I was a seagull , fighting for some miscellaneous piece of shit on some wharf  somewhere . I was so busy being caught up in my smelly little world , I did not realize that my friends had found a bucket of chicken just a few yards to my left . Eventually , when my friends were finished eating - and I use the term"friend" loosely - one of them biffed a bone at me and it went right through my eye . As blood gushed everywhere , I could hear all the little fuckers laughing .  

Yea , chicken

the water fight

Last night I dreamed that I went to a water gun fight . But instead of using water guns , the other team would cut off your hand at the wrist . As the gravity of the situation dawned upon me , I increasingly became aware that I had to get the fuck out of there .

the pope

I dreamed that I dialed the wrong # and got the Pope on the line . He tried to sell me a set of encyclopedias .

Yea , encyclopedias .

the horse...

I dreamed i went through the desert on a horse with no name . But then it dawned on me : why if the fuck did nobody name the horse . I tried to name him , but with very attempt , the universe began to shake and disappear . The horse somehow contained infinity within his very existence . It was then I realized , maybe everything is actually this fucked up .

Yea , fucked up .