in cahoots...

I dreamed that all the cabbage in the world became alive ; and went around setting all the salads on fire . Then the carrots would come and piss on the salads , and get a handsome reward . Little did anyone know , they were in cahoots with the cabbage .

a pop-cycle named penis

I dreamed there was a young girl named Envy ; and her mother gave her a pop-cycle named Penis . She threw it on the ground , and it got hit by a car .

the televangelist

I dreamed a televangelist crawled up my ass and had a"revival meeting" . I had to take a knife and dig my guts out to get rid of him . Then I died and God held me in His arms . 

the devil's teeth .

I dreamed I was a baby inside a crib . And the crib was made out of the devil's teeth . And every time I cried they pierced my skin .

the weird dog

I dreamed a dog claimed to be Neptune and walked upon the ocean . Then Thor came and threw him a stick . Suddenly , the sky turned bright orange and the dog turned into a cat . I tried to lecture him on Greek mythology , but he proceeded to tell me to go fuck myself .

the tuna...

I dreamed that I was being chased across the ocean by a tuna . But it was in a can . Suddenly , the can broke open , and my soul flew away .

sacrificing chickens...

I dreamed that I was sacrificing chickens to the devil to get God's will done . And everyone that got in my way , I murdered . The chickens seemed to be laughing at me .

the lobster...

I dreamed I saw a lobster walk on water . He told a group of people that he knew the secret of eternal  love and happiness . They were hungry , however , and so they ate him before the words left his mouth .

paca dies...

I dreamed that Paca died . Then he appeared to me in my kitchen and burned a list of the reasons why he  didn't want to live on my forearm . I poured him a glass of milk .

paca and i in iceland...

I dreamed Paca and I went to Iceland . Somewhere between the fog and the ocean , I saw myself...dead . So we quickly found a colony of crabs and lobsters , and allowed them to feed upon my flesh . They smiled and waved good-by , all in perfect unison .

yellow buffalo...

I dreamed Paca and I were swarmed by yellow buffalo . They charged us like enemies , but their bodies went through ours , giving us new strength and vitality . Then a voice cried out : " reality is never what you perceive " . 

the pine tree...

I dreamed I was naked under a pine tree . And as I prayed to be nestled on top of an oak , I could feel my body being taken under ground ; smothered into nothingness . 

...went to hell...

Last night I dreamed Paca and I went to Hell . We roasted marsh mellows as the Devil screamed all around us . Then we put out our fire and made our way back home .

ocean of pillows...

I dreamed that I was drowning in an ocean of pillows ; which cut my skin into pieces like razor blades . I cried out : "how could this be???" And the answer came back : "how can anything be???"    

paca raised his hand...

There was an old Indian named Paca . And as he raised his hand , the water bended into the sky . And Paca said to me : "all of those who cannot bend the universe  have had the ability smothered by their deceit . 

the puppy dog

Last night in a dream...I asked God if He would give me a puppy dog with ears down to the ground . So He did . And the dog flapped his ears and flew away .

the river...

I dreamed I danced in the river . And as I danced the river smiled . The stones on the side jumped into the water . And the leaves played music as they fell from the sky . The moon turned into cream .

the nudest colony...

I dreamed I was in a nudest colony ; but I was murdered because I wasn't wearing a bracelet on my right ankle .

god and his issues...

I dreamed that God sent His angels to harvest all the drugs . Then He killed us all so we wouldn't tell on Him .

the gardener...

I dreamed I was a gardener who loved to grow flowers . Unfortunately , I liked to set them on fire even more so .

mudslide

I dreamed God changed my name to Mudslide .

yeti...

Last night I dreamed that two Yeti were having sex on the moon . And I thought to myself : "this is so weird ; how can they breathe ??? " .

an angel come to me...

i dreamed than an angel came to me and declared : "stu , you fucker...remember this...it is the showers of mercy , the ones who ignore infractions...these are the ones who will embrace true wisdom and insight " .

cockroaches...

I dreamed that cockroaches took over the world . But once they controlled everything and had nothing left to conquer ,  they all died of broken hearts .

woman hater...

I dreamed that I politely asked my girlfriend to stop beating me . So she called me a woman hater .

second coming...

Last night I dreamed that Jesus came back  , and took all the turtles to Heaven with Him . 

mothra and godzilla

I dreamed that I was drinking a beer , listening to The Pretenders in the background . Suddenly a tit was rubbing itself against my left ear . It was then I realized that Mothra didn't stand a chance against Godzilla .

elephant balls

I dreamed I went bowling with elephant testicles . I felt humiliated...right up until I got a perfect 300 score . Then everyone wanted some elephant nuts to bowl with . 

alien investigation team

I dreamed I was trying to have a shit , but the alien investigation team was in the toilet . They kept on eating corn chips and talking about their favorite situation comedies from the 70's .