the tree and the priest

I dreamed that every tree was an erect penis . And the priest made me cut them down .

fucking pink sky...and the 4 homosexual horsemen

I dreamed that the 4 homosexual horsemen from the homosexual Apocalypse were riding across the sky . And the sky was pink .

lobster in tub

I dreamed a friend of mine was in the tub . So I threw a lobster in there with him .

pig , picking nose in church...

I dreamed I went to church ; and a pig was picking his nose behind the podium . He was screaming at us about the evils of picking your nose .

the turtle and his shell

I dreamed that my turtle lost his shell . So he wiped shit all over his body so he would be left alone . It worked .

shit hitting the fan...

I was in grade seven . I dreamed that there was all this shit , hitting a fan . Then I went to school to pick up my report card .

should i screw a peach ???

I dreamed that a friend of mine was screwing a peach in the middle of a video store . I asked him what he was doing , and he explained to me that the entire experience was only 100 dollars .

money and shit...

I dreamed that shit became the new currency . And the people with the most shit , made fun of those who didn't have a lot . 

caterpiller...

I dreamed I was a caterpillar ; and I spent all my time in the garden , finding ways to fool God .

naked ladies on banana bush

I dreamed that there were naked ladies on a banana bush . And every time I picked on , an island fell into the ocean .

the butterfly...

I dreamed I was a butterfly...and I sat around playing with my balls . And all the other butterfly's had to bring me beer to watch .  

me and the dragon

I dreamed  that a dragon offered me a ride to the other side of the galaxy . And when I got there , everyone was treating each other much like they treat each other here . And I said : "thanks , you stupid fucking dragon !!! " .

the idiot

I had a nightmare that my friend was dating an idiot . And when I wont up , there he was...with this idiot .

walrus dreams...

Last night I dreamed that one solitary walrus began to lead all the other walrus's into a place of inner-contentment and peace  and joy . So all the walrus leaders had a board meeting , then took the board and beat him to death with it .

the worm

I dreamed I saw a worm singing a song . And I yelled out : " That fucking worm is out of tune " .

alligator in my tub

I dreamed there was an alligator in my bath tub with me. And the fucker took all my soap.

sterilization and world peace...

I dreamed that everyone got sterilized for a quart of rum . And in 70 years...world peace .

snake playing banjo...

I dreamed that there was a snake , playing a banjo . And all I could think of was that if the fucking snake couldn't sing on key , then he shouldn't sing at all .

stealing love...

I dreamed that someone stole all the love in the world . They hid it in their shoe and took off to another universe . They were singing Beach Boys songs .

swimming in a bottle...

I dreamed that I was swimming in a bottle of pop . But I was skinny dipping so some religious guy threw me and the bottle against a wall .

every drop of water...

I dreamed that every drop of water in the ocean , turned into a snake . And they all made fun of me .

sperm donation engineer...

I dreamed that my left testicle moved to hollywood and became a sperm donation engineer . He got rich .

aliens...

I dreamed that aliens came from outer - space . We got drunk and watched E . T . They threw up all over my floor .

cat multiplication

I dreamed that a cat changed himself into three cats : but thought he was four because of his poor math skills.

the horney beaver

I dreamed there was a beaver , who gazed at the world as it was setting . He lit a smoke , and said... "It's all fucking over . Let me stroke myself one more time ."

the snake...

I dreamed that a snake approached me and said..." watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat !!! " i said..." how in the fuck can you do that ??? you got no arms !!! " he just gave me a stupid look and fucked off into the sunset . 

shell-less turtle

I dreamed I was a turtle without any shell . And all the other turtles pissed down my back .

truth bit me on the ass...

I dreamed that truth bit me on the ass . But when I looked around...my ass was no longer there . 

the frog

I dreamed that I turned into a frog . And all the other frogs murdered me because my spot was on the wrong side .

snakes and ears

I dreamed that snakes came out of my ears . Then everyone started to respect me .

glass of water...

I dreamed that I was a glass of water ; and I gave God 50 bucks not to throw me into the ocean .