crab shell...

I dreamed that I was a crab with no shell . So I spent all my free time preaching to other crabs how evil it was to have a shell .

quest for cheese...

I dreamed I was a tuna sandwich ; and I spent the rest of eternity looking for some cheese to stick on my body . In fact , I ruined my life in quest for cheese .

world being controlled by pineapples...

I dreamed that it turned out that the earth was secretly being controlled by pineapples . They were just using us humans to suck the juice out of them . It was a sexual thing .

skinny dipping in the lake of fire...

I dreamed I went skinny dipping in the Lake of Fire . And I got in shit because it was against the rules .

end of the world

i dreamed that the world came to an end . And when I got to Heaven , it turned out that it happened because God forgot to set His alarm clock .

death and shit...

I dreamed that I died and went to Heaven . At the Perle Gates I saw St. Peter . I asked him if I could come in , and all he said was : "Dave's not here , man " .

sperm in the world...

I dreamed that all the sperm in the world was hung around the neck of a giant pig . He died and went to Hell and made billions of demonic creatures .

tuna...

I dreamed that everyne in the world was a can of tuna . But when you opened most of the cans up...there was only shit inside .

planet earth...

I dreamed that we invented this high powered telescope...and discovered that planet earth was simply a wart on god's ass .

monster that ate winnipeg

I dreamed that I became a monster that ate Winnipeg . And all the girls wanted to screw me .

inbreeds and pig fucking and shakespeare

I dreamed that I was attacked by some inbreeds in a swamp . They made me squeal like a pig while I recited Shakespeare . 

jellyfish hard-on...

I dreamed that I was a jelly fish...and I spent my entire life trying to get a hard-on .

the universe...

I DREAMED THAT THE UNIVERSE FELL OUT OF THE SKY...AND INTO A BOTTLE OF RUM .

the pope and the cat...

I dreamed that the Pope sacrificed a cat to Baal . And the cat god blew up the world as a response .

the pillow...

I dreamed my pillow turned into granite and grew a mouth and teeth . Then it went on a crusade around the world , convincing people that it was the softest pillow ever .

talking butterfly

I dreamed that my shit turned into a talking butterfly that had the key to wisdom and truth . It was promptly eaten by a cat .

angel of death...

I dreamed that the angel of death started smoking cigarettes and died of cancer . From that point on , nobody could die until they found a replacement .

the monster...

I dreamed that there was a hole in my boat...and I  prayed God would fill it somehow . Then a monster reached his arm through the hole and strangled me .

i dreamed that the lake was drank by the ocean...

I DREAMED THAT THE LAKE WAS SWALLOWED BY THE OCEAN...AND WAS SPAT INTO THE SUN.

eating the worlds secrets

I dreamed that my goldfish began to talk to me about all the secrets of the universe . It made me feel kinda inferior...so i ate him .

FIRE DANCER

I DREAMED I WAS DANCING ON FIRE...AND I SPRAINED MY ANKLE .

the aliens...

I dreamed the aliens came down and replaced all the rodents with one super rodent...called rodent plus . And didn't the kids love them .

I dreamed that Jesus came back to earth . He rounded up all the squirrels...then went back to heaven . 

I dreamed that every humanoid was hollowed out...

I dreamed that every humanoid was hollowed out of their soul and sent away to a distant planet...the planets name...earth !!!

weird shit and such...

I dreamed that the turd of discontent...threw up into the ass hole of confusion and sexual ambiguity... and licked its own nuts in the lake of bastardized reality . 

trout of contention...

I dreamed that the trout of contention , swam up the lake of  misery , into the ass hole of despair...and ordered a cheese burger , an onion rings and a strawberry milkshake .

ball of shit...

I dreamed that the world became a ball of shit...hurdling toward the sun . Then I realized that I was not dreaming .