RATS IN MY GARAGE...

I DREAMED THERE WERE RATS IN MY GARAGE...AND THEY CLEANED IT ALL UP...AND WASHED THE WINDOWS .

BRICK PIGEONS

I DREAMED THAT PIGEONS WERE MADE OF BRICKS...BUT IT WAS THE CHOCOLATE DONUTS THAT PREVENTED THEM FROM FLIGHT .

KETCHUP

I DREAMED THE KETCHUP TURNED INTO MUSTARD...THEN IT LAUGHED AT ME BECAUSE IT KNEW HOW FUCKING MUCH I DESPISE KETCHUP .

SHIT IN THE LAKE OF FIRE

I DREAMED THAT SOMEONE HAD A SHIT IN TH LAKE OF FIRE...AND , BOY...WASN'T SATAN PISSES-OFF . 

BABOON COUNTRY

I DREAMED MY CAT BECAME A BABOON...AND RAN AWAY TO BABOON COUNTRY .

BANJO-CROCK...

I DREAMED THAT MY CROCODILE PLAYED THE BANJO...BUT HE KINDA SUCKED , SO I MADE HIM SELL IT TO THE KID NEXT DOOR .

CAT-POPE...CONTINUES...

I DREAMED THAT ANOTHER CAT SAW THE CAT-POPE LICK HIS NUTS...SO HE HAD HIM "PUT TO SLEEP" .

THE CAT-POPE AND KITTENS

I DREAMED THAT THE CAT-POPE...MADE ALL THE OTHER CATS HAVE KITTENS...JUST SO THEY COULD GO TO WORK AND MAKE HIM MONEY .

BARKING CAT...

I DREAMED THAT MY CAT LEARNED HOW TO BARK...SO THE CAT-POPE HAD HIM EXCOMMUNICATED .

POLLUTION

I DREAMED THAT IT WAS LEGAL TO POLLUTE THE WORLD TO THE POINT WHERE INNOCENT PEOPLE DIED...THEN I AWOKE...AND REALIZED THAT THAT WAS JUST INSANE AND COULD NEVER HAPPEN ON A CIVILIZED PLANET .

LAKE OF HELL...

I DREAMED THAT I WAS SKINNY DIPPING IN THE LAKE OF HELL...AND THE LIFE GUARD WAS DRUNK .

PLASTIC DOLL...

I DREAMED THAT A DARKNESS FELL OVER THE LAND...THEN EVERYONE TURNED INTO A PLASTIC DOLL...AND MELTED .

HORSE WITH NO NAME .

I DREAMED I MET A HORSE WITH NO NAME...HE SAID HIS NAME WAS BILLY .

THE RADIO

I DREAMED THAT I BOUGHT A RADIO...BUT WHEN I  OPENED THE BACK...I WAS TO FIND THAT IT TOOK 2,354 BATTERIES .

THE DOVE...

I DREAMED THAT IT RAINED FOR 40 DAYS AND NIGHTS...THEN I SENT OUT A DOVE TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON...AND HE CAME BACK WITH A BUCKET OF CHICKEN .

TRAINING SHARKS...

  

I DREAMED  I TRAINED  SHARKS TO BE POLICEMEN...BUT IT WAS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO TRAIN THE CRIMINALS TO DO ALL THEIR BAD SHIT UNDER WATER .

THE BEACH...

I DREAMED THAT THE SAND ON THE BEACH WAS REPLACED WITH CEMENT...AND THE STAR FISH WERE MADE OUT OF BARB WIRE .

HUMAN INTELLIGENCE...

I DREAMED THAT ALIENS CAME AND ELIMINATED ALL HUMAN INTELLIGENCE...AND NOBODY KNEW THE DIFFERENCE .

GODZILLA'S WIG

I DREAMED GODZILLA BOUGHT A BLONDE WIG...AND CRIED WHEN RODAN SAID THAT IT LOOKED LIKE SHIT .

40 OUNCES...

I DREAMED I DRANK A "40 OUNCE-ER" UP MY ASS...AND THREW IT UP OUT MY FACE .

MAGIC CARPET...

I DREAMED THAT MY MAGIC CARPET...HAD BED BUGS .

EATING...

I DREAMED THAT EVERY TIME I ATE SOMETHING...I NEEDED TO EAT THREE MORE .

LOVE COMES KNOCKING

I DREAMED THAT LOVE CAME KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF HUMANITY...AND IT FUCKED UP ITS HAND PRETTY BADLY .

I DREAMED I WAS A BIRD...BUT I FLAPPED MY LEGS INSTEAD OF MY WINGS...I FELL INTO THE ABYSS .

SABRE TOOTH RACCOON...

I DREAMED I WAS A SABRE TOOTH RACCOON , BACK IN THE STONE AGES...BUT MY TEETH SOMEHOW FELL OUT...SO I HAD TO GIVE THE OTHER RACCOONS ALL MY DRUGS .

ELIJAH...

I DREAMED THAT THE PROPHET ELIJAH...GOT CAUGHT STEALING FROM A RETARDED KID...THEY PLAYED 18 HOLES OF GOLF TO SETTLE THE SCORE .

FALSE PROPHET JELLYFISH

I DREAMED THAT I WAS JESUS THE JELLYFISH...AND I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE TELLING PEOPLE THAT THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS LIKE THE BEACH...JUST BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO GET PEOPLE TO BELIEVE BULLSHIT .

SLUGS TOOK OVER THE WORLD...

I DREAMED THAT SLUGS TOOK OVER THE WORLD...AND THEY ALL WORE THIS STUPID T-SHIRT THAT SAID..." YES I CAN " .