WOLLIE MAMMOTH

I DREAMED THAT THE WOOLIE MAMMOTH WAS NAKED...AND HIS EYES WERE RED...AND HE GIGGLED A LOT...BUT HE SAID THAT HE DIDN'T SMOKE DOPE .

RIDING A WHALE

I DREAMED THAT I ROAD A WHALE INTO ETERNITY...BUT IT WAS CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS WHEN I GOT THERE .

THE SHITTER...

I DREAMED THERE WERE 18 MILLION PEOPLE , RUNNING FOR ONE SHITTER...AND THE SKY BECAME AS BLOOD RED .

TWO EQUAL PIECES

I DREAMED THAT THE UNIVERSE WAS DIVIDED UP INTO TWO EQUAL PIECES...AND THE PERSON WHO DIDN'T CUT IT GOT THE FIRST PICK .

A SWAN IN IRELAND...

I DREAMED THAT A SWAN FLEW TO IRELAND...AND DRANK A PINT WITH BONO IN THE LOCAL PUB .

THE POPE IN IRELAND...

I DREAMED THAT THE POPE MOVED TO IRELAND...AND OPENED UP A SMOKE SHOP .

LOCH NESS MONSTER

I DREAMED THAT THE LOCH NESS MONSTER...MOVED TO LAKE ONTARIO...BUT HE HAD TO SUE TO KEEP THE RIGHTS TO HIS NAME .

FAR AWAY GALAXY...

I DREAMED THAT I TRAVELED TO A FAR AWAY GALAXY...AND FOUND A LIGHT FOR OUR PLANET...I TRAVELED BILLIONS OF LIGHT YEARS TO BRING IT BACK...ONLY TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE PLUG .

GIANT RABBIT...

I DREAMED THAT THE WORLD WAS EATEN BY A GIANT BUNNY RABBIT...AND FROM THAT TIME ON...THE CLOUDS LOOKED AS YELLOW AS CARROTS .

MY CRAB

I DREAMED THAT MY CRAB FELL TO HIS DEATH TO ESCAPE MY NASTY PLAN...I TRIED TO READ HIS LAST THOUGHTS...BUT COULD NOT .

CAT FISH

I DREAMED MY CATFISH TURNED INTO A DOGFISH...AND ALL THE OTHER FISH BEAT HIM TO DEATH .

MAKING LOVE IN THE FOREST

I DREAMED THAT A SASQUATCH AND A YETI...MADE LOVE...AND THE KID WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL .

MY JELLYFISH

I DREAMED THAT MY JELLYFISH GOT BOILED IN HOT WATER...AND A VOICE SAID...THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR LETTING PEOPLE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU .

GIANT LIZARD

I DREAMED I HAD A HOMOSEXUAL EXPERIENCE...BUT MY PARTNER TURNED INTO A GIANT LIZARD AND ATTACKED ME .

skyline pigeon

i dreamed that my pigeon grew a two foot long penis...and then i sold him for a billion dollars .

THE SNAIL' EXPOSURE

I DREAMED THAT MY SNAIL CAME OUT OF HIS SHELL...AND WAS ARRESTED FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE .

MY FISH...

I DREAMED MY FISH WALKED INTO THE WATER...AND DROWNED .

THE GOLDFISH...

I DREAMED THAT MY GOLDFISH ATE MY CAT...AND THE BUDGIE JUST SAT THERE...AND LIT UP A SMOKE .

ALIEN INVASION...

I DREAMED ALIENS INVADED OUR PLANET...AND WE STOLE THEIR SHIT , RAPED THEM...AND BLAMED IT ON THE MARTIANS .

TALKING PENIS NAMED TOMMY

I DREAMED THAT A TALKING PENIS RAN FOR PRESIDENT...AND EVERY TIME THE OPPOSITION WOULD OPEN THEIR MOUTH...HE WOULD SHOVE HIMSELF RIGHT IN THERE .

END OF THE WORLD...

I DREAMED THAT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END...AND I GOT TO WRITE THE THEME SONG .

DEVIL HAD SEX CHANGE...

I DREAMED THAT THE DEVIL...HAD A SEX CHANGE...AND ALL THE DEMONS BEGAN TO SHUN HER .   

MY SHADOW...

I DREAMED MY SHADOW BECAME A PROSTITUTE .

GET WELL CARDS FOR SATAN...

I DREAMED THAT THE DEVIL GOT A COLD...BUT HE NEVER GOT ANY GET WELL CARDS BECAUSE THEY ALL BURNED UP AS SOON AS THEY GOT TO HELL .

MY SNAIL...

I DREAMED THAT MY PET SNAIL GOT INVOLVED IN A SEX CULT .

THE ANT

I DREAMED I WAS AN ANT...BUT GOT ADDICTED TO DRUGS...SO I BEGAN STARTING RUMORS ABOUT THE OTHER ANTS TO HIDE BEHIND .

MR. BEE

I DREAMED I WAS A BEE...BUT WAS TRAINED TO BE A NINJA BY THE HORNETS...SOMETHING ABOUT WORLD DOMINATION .

NO PEOPLE ON THE PLANET...

I DREAMED THAT POCKET PUSSY TOOK OVER THE UNIVERSE...AND 80 YEARS LATER...ONLY A FEW PEOPLE LEFT .

pocket pussy

i dreamed i won a tennis tournament...and the prize was...POCKET PUSSY .