...A BETTER TURD...

I DREAMED THAT THEY INVENTED A TURD...THAT WOULD WIPE YOUR ASS FOR YOU .

MOON SAVAGES...

I DREAMED THAT REALITY FLEW INTO THE MOON...AND MOON SAVAGES BEGAN TO DINE UPON IT .

THE MIGHTY CREATURE...

I DREAMED THAT A MIGHTY CREATURE EMERGED FROM THE FOREST...AND MADE DELICIOUS BANANA CREAM PIE .

WILD STRAWBERRY...

I DREAMED THAT A BOY PICKED A WILD STRAWBERRY...THEN HE PUT IT IN HIS POCKET...AND IT GREW INTO A UNIVERSE .

THE UNIVERSE...

I DREAMED THAT THE UNIVERSE WAS A GRAIN OF SAND...AND THE TIDE WAS LOVE IN THE MAKING .

AN ODE TO THE SPARROWS

I DREAMED THAT SPARROWS TOOK OVER THE WORLD...AND MADE THE HUMANS MINE WORMS FOR THEM .

LOVE...

I DREAMED THAT LOVE  GOT DRUNK AND FELL OFF THE BALCONY .

REALITY AND THE TOILET...

I DREAMED THAT REALITY GOT FLUSHED DOWN A TOILET...AND BREAKFAST CEREAL BECAME THE NEW PORK CHOP DINNER .

GIANT BIRD...

I DREAMED THAT A GIANT BIRD FROM OUTER-SPACE THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS AN EGG...AND SAT IN IT AND CRUSHED ALL OF ASIA .

THE LOBSTER'S BACK...

I DREAMED I FELL INTO A HOLE IN THE OCEAN...BUT I WAS PLACED UPON A LOBSTER'S BACK...AND HE TOOK ME TO A SMALL PERVERTED ISLAND .

RABBIT'S FEET...

I DREAMED THAT THE CLOUDS WERE MADE OUT OF RABBIT'S FEET...BUT I NEVER FELT SO UNLUCKY .

MOUSE-A-HOLICS...

I DREAMED MY MOUSE FELL INTO MY RUM AND GOT REALLY DRUNK...THEN I READ SOMETHING IN THE PAPER ABOUT MOUSE-A-HOLICS...AND GOT REALLY SCARED .

SPACE CANDY...

I DREAMED THAT THE WORLD TURNED INTO A GIANT SPACE CANDY...AND WAS LICKED TO DEATH BY A INTERGALACTIC DRAGON .

THE KITTEN...

I DREAMED THAT THE WORLD WAS BLOWN UP...AND FELL BACK TOGETHER AS THE LARGEST KITTEN IN THE UNIVERSE .

SHIT GLOVES...

I DREAMED THAT THERE WAS SHIT IN MY GLOVES...SO I PLACED THEM OVER MY EARS...AND THE WORLD WENT STILL .

THE GUITAR...

I DREAMED THAT I KEPT ON STRUMMING A GUITAR...UNTIL IT EVENTUALLY SOUNDED LIKE A GUITAR SHOULD SOUND .

WAIT A MINUTE...THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED...

I DREAMED THAT A MAJOR CANADIAN CITY PUT UP A SERIES OF BULLETIN BOARDS...EACH ONE LOOKING LIKE A PENIS .

I WON'T TELL YOU WHICH CITY...BUT I WILL TELL YOU IT IS HALIFAX .