MOON MASTURBATION...

I DREAMED I WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO MASTURBATE ON THE MOON .

CHESS AND THE YETI...

I DREAMED I PLAYED A GAME OF CHESS WITH A YETI...HE BEAT ME...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I LET HIM...(HE WAS MORE GENEROUS WITH HIS SCOTCH THAT WAY ) .

TROUT FISHING...

I WAS FISHING WITH MY FATHER...MY BROTHER...AND MY FATHER'S FRIEND...SUDDENLY I HEAR YELLED OUT AT THE TOP OF LUNG CAPACITY..."JESUS CHRIST !!! "...AND MY FATHER'S FRIEND PULLS OUT A GUN AND BEGINS TO SHOOT AT THE TROUT... THEY SWIM AWAY INTO THE MORNING SUN .

ST .PETER...

I DREAMED I WAS ST. PETER...AND I MURDERED THE COCK SO IT COULDN'T CROW THREE TIMES...AND I WOULDN'T GET IN SHIT .

DRUGS AND BIBLE COLLEGE...

I DREAMED I WAS IN BIBLE COLLEGE...SMOKING DRUGS AND BLOWING IT INTO THE TEACHER'S FACE .

THE SHARK AND THE GOLDFISH...

I DREAMED THAT A SHARK WAS EATEN BY A GOLDFISH...AND NOBODY NOTICED .

MARSH MELLOWS AND BRICKS...

I DREAMED THAT MARSH MELLOWS TURNED INTO BRICKS...AND THEY THREW THEMSELVES AT ETERNITY .

SHIT ON THE SUN...

I DREAMED THAT ALL THE PIGEONS HAD A SHIT ON THE SUN...AND THE SKY WENT COMPLETELY DARK .

ORGASM PUDDING...

I DREAMED THAT I INVENTED A PUDDING THAT GAVE YOU AN ORGASM WITH EVERY BITE...AND THE ENTIRE WORLD DIED OF DIABETES .

THUNDER-RAT...

I DREAMED THAT SOMEONE...OR SOMETHING...NAMED THUNDER-RAT...BECAME AN OVERNIGHT SUPERHERO AND SAVED THE UNIVERSE...RIGHT UNTIL THE TIME HE GOT SHOT BY A HUSBAND WHO CAUGHT HIM SLEEPING WITH HIS 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER .

MY SILVER SPOON...

I DREAMED I WAS NAKED IN THE DESERT...EATING PUDDING WITH MY SILVER SPOON .

MY JELLYFISH...

I DREAMED THAT MY JELLYFISH SMOKED A JOINT...AND THEN BECAME A WORLD CLASS POKER PLAYER .

JELLYFISH...

I DREAMED THAT ALL THE JELLYFISH IN THE OCEAN WERE IN JARS...BUT IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT...THEY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE HUMAN .

TERRIERS AND THEIR SHITTY ATTITUDE...

I DREAMED THAT MY GAY DOG WENT TO A DOG CHURCH DOWN THE STREET AND WAS PUMMELED BY A GROUP OF TERRIERS .

THOSE AMAZING BUTTERFLY SOLDIERS...

I DREAMED THAT ALL THE BUTTERFLY'S IN THE WORLD...WERE STONED ON ACID...AND , ONE BY ONE...THEY GAVE THE DELI LAMA ADVICE .

BETTER THAN "THE BEATLES"...

I DREAMED THAT FOUR PENGUINS GOT TOGETHER AND FORMED A BAND CALLED..." BETTER THAN THE BEATLES "....THEY WERE EATEN BY KILLER WHALES WITHIN A WEEK .

MIRKEL , MIRKEL , MIRKEL...ETC .

I DREAMED THAT A FELLOW NAMED MIRKEL CAME FROM OUTER SPACE...BROKE INTO MY FRIDGE...AND SUCKED BACK ALL MY LEMONADE .

HIS THEME SONG WAS UNINTELLIGIBLE .  

SQUIRREL BLUES...

I DREAMED THAT THE FLYING SQUIRRELS WERE ATTACKING THE ORDINARY SQUIRRELS...WHILE THE CHIPMUNKS ALL LIT UP A SMOKE AND WATCHED AS THE SUN SET .

NEW TOASTER...

I DREAMED THAT GOD OPENED EVERYONE'S EYES...AND THE FIRST THING THEY DID...WAS GET A NEW TOASTER .

CANNED TURKEY...

I DREAMED CANNED TURKEY FUCKED UP MY STOMACH...SO I ATE A WHOLE BOX OF IT AND I FELT JUST DANDY .

THE UNIVERSE...

I DREAMED THAT THE UNIVERSE TURNED INTO A FOLDAWAY TABLE...AND THE STARS WERE CRUMBS .

AN ODE TO A GRASSHOPPER...

I DREAMED THAT MY CATERPILLAR KICKED THE BUCKET...500 TIMES...THEN MY GRASSHOPPER KICKED IT ONCE...BUT IT WENT FURTHER .

PUPPET SHOW AND BOOZE DON'T MIX...

I DREAMED THAT I GOT DRUNK AND PUT ON A PUPPET SHOW AT "STARBUCKS " ...THE PUPPET THREW UP IN MY  DARK ROAST BLEND .

SPACE DRIFTWOOD...

I DREAMED I WAS A PIECE OF DRIFTWOOD...FLOATING THROUGH SPACE...BEING CARVED INTO A SIGN THAT READ..."PLEASE DON'T LET ME FLY INTO THE SUN " .

ALIEN BIRD...

I DREAMED THAT MY BIRD FLEW INTO A BOTTLE OF MUSTARD...AND WHEN I GOT HIM OUT...HE LOOKED LIKE AN ALIEN BIRD...AND THE OTHER BIRDS WANTED HIM TO FLY THEM INTO SPACE...AND WHEN HE COULD NOT...THEY ATE HIM .

SUSHI...

I DREAMED THAT I WAS EATING SUSHI AT AN OUTDOOR EVENT...AND IF I COULD PICK IT UP WITH MY PENIS...SOMEONE WOULD PAY FOR IT FOR ME .

IT WAS RAINING...AND THEY WERE SELLING OBSCURE MUSIC .