MOON MASTURBATION...

I DREAMED I WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO MASTURBATE ON THE MOON .

CHESS AND THE YETI...

I DREAMED I PLAYED A GAME OF CHESS WITH A YETI...HE BEAT ME...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I LET HIM...(HE WAS MORE GENEROUS WITH HIS SCOTCH THAT WAY ) .

TROUT FISHING...

I WAS FISHING WITH MY FATHER...MY BROTHER...AND MY FATHER'S FRIEND...SUDDENLY I HEAR YELLED OUT AT THE TOP OF LUNG CAPACITY..."JESUS CHRIST !!! "...AND MY FATHER'S FRIEND PULLS OUT A GUN AND BEGINS TO SHOOT AT THE TROUT... THEY SWIM AWAY INTO THE MORNING SUN .

ST .PETER...

I DREAMED I WAS ST. PETER...AND I MURDERED THE COCK SO IT COULDN'T CROW THREE TIMES...AND I WOULDN'T GET IN SHIT .

DRUGS AND BIBLE COLLEGE...

I DREAMED I WAS IN BIBLE COLLEGE...SMOKING DRUGS AND BLOWING IT INTO THE TEACHER'S FACE .

THE SHARK AND THE GOLDFISH...

I DREAMED THAT A SHARK WAS EATEN BY A GOLDFISH...AND NOBODY NOTICED .

MARSH MELLOWS AND BRICKS...

I DREAMED THAT MARSH MELLOWS TURNED INTO BRICKS...AND THEY THREW THEMSELVES AT ETERNITY .